we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
