Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
