The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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