help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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