I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
