Betty ford says i'm here all night
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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