Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
