I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
