when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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