im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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