I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Randomize
