Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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