then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I want to be your penis for a week.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
