Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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