too bad you live with your parents still
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
