i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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