if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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