You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
