I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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