You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
he's single and there are thong briefs.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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