my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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