that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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