It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
