My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize