ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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