420 ftw
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You are a genius and a whore.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
