6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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