Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize