her vagine was all disorganized.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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