but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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