just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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