Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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