Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
God I need to hump something, right now.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
