im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
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Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
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I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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