still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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