I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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