Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
