My hand turned me down
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
