This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
