last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
