yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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