Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
