big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
