New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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