Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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