if you like me you must not know who I am
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize