I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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