oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
