Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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