I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You did what with his pubic hair?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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