I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
