I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
someone owes me an orgasm
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
