i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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