He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Terrible idea I love it
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
