Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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