he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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