Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
