Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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