She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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